


after all these years

by gigglesandfreckles



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Anakin Skywalker Needs a Hug, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Master & Padawan Relationship(s), Obi-Wan Kenobi Needs a Hug, Post-Deception Arc
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-24
Updated: 2020-10-24
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:22:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27181741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gigglesandfreckles/pseuds/gigglesandfreckles
Summary: “Anakin.”He looked up from the holopad, but didn’t respond.“You’re frustrated with me.”“Obviously.” Anakin scoffed darkly.Obi-Wan swallowed. He knew it was true, but he expected at least some sort of denial. “I understand you feel betrayed and--” He held up a hand, anticipating Anakin’s interruption. “Please allow me to speak for a moment. Then, we can return to ignoring each other in excruciating silence.”[or...Obi-Wan tries to talk to Anakin, but it doesn't go well. does this sound familiar OR WHAT?]
Relationships: Obi-Wan Kenobi & Anakin Skywalker
Comments: 18
Kudos: 263





	after all these years

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this entire fic from Anakin's pov and deleted it, Vokara's pov and deleted it, and ultimately ended in my safety net of Obi-Wan HA. perhaps another day, I'll become brave and branch out.
> 
> enjoy! maybe! but probably not! because these stupid boys still don't know how to communicate!

“' _kin?_ ”

Anakin looked up from his holopad and Obi-Wan was struck by the dull eyes that met him. He didn’t recognise them. The darkness of the room--they were in the Halls of Healing, it appeared--cast long shadows across his face.

“You collapsed.” Anakin offered simply. Shortly.

“I remember,” Obi-Wan rubbed at his eyes as he struggled to sit up in the bed. For a moment, it looked like Anakin would move to help him, but he sat back in the chair, rigidly.

“You should stay still.”

“I just want water. My throat--”

“Here,” Anakin lifted a glass from the small bedside table and extended it towards Obi-Wan. As soon as Obi-Wan grabbed it, his hand snapped back to his side, like he’d been burned. “I’ll grab a healer now that you’re awake.”

Obi-Wan laid a light hand on Anakin’s knee. “Please don’t.”

Anakin froze, staring at the hand. Obi-Wan sighed and moved it. 

This wouldn’t do.

“Anakin,” he began.

“No,” the younger Jedi cut in. He shook his head tersely. “Don’t you _dare_ use this as a tool to--I don’t know--to--”

Obi-Wan frowned. “I’m not using _anything._ I just wish we could talk about this.”

“There’s nothing to talk about,” Anakin huffed. “You said it yourself: you did what you thought was right for the greater good. I’ve known for a long time that I don’t fit into that.”

“Now, Anakin, that’s just--”

“Obi-Wan!” Anakin barked. “I’m here because they comm’ed me and told me to be here. That’s the only reason.”

It was a simple statement but it pierced through Obi-Wan’s heart in the way he knew Anakin had intended it.

Anakin wasn’t there out of any kind of concern or care for the older Jedi. Bant had probably comm’ed Anakin out of habit, knowing that he usually _demanded_ to be told every time Obi-Wan was admitted to the Halls of Healing. That had been the standing norm since Anakin was a padawan.

But Anakin wasn’t a padawan anymore and things _weren’t_ as they usually were. Every day, Obi-Wan became less and less confident that they would ever get back to that place again.

“I understand.” Obi-Wan said quietly, nodding his head as diplomatically as he could. “If you have other things to take care of, you should go.”

Anakin narrowed his eyes, surveying his former master with doubt. He knew it was a test.

“Master Che told me to stay here.”

“I’m awake now. There’s no--”

“Master Che told me to stay here, so I’m going to stay here.”

Obi-Wan closed his mouth. He wasn’t quite sure what to make of Anakin’s response to his attempted dismissal. It was evident that the knight had no interest in speaking with Obi-Wan or being anywhere _near_ him and it’s not as if Anakin had ever given great concern to following the orders of other masters _before_.

Anakin returned his gaze to the holopad in his lap and Obi-Wan was left to his thoughts. It was all very strange. To be completely honest, he hadn’t even known Anakin was back on Coruscant. Unless he’d been asleep for _far_ longer than he thought.

“Do you want a book?” Anakin said suddenly.

Obi-Wan blinked. “What?”

“A book,” Anakin repeated, impatiently. He bent down and grabbed a small bag on the floor, haphazardly rampaging through it until he merged with a small tome. Obi-Wan accepted the book with a grateful nod and watched as Anakin went back to his holopad without another word.

The older Jedi flipped the book around in his hands and was surprised to find the teachings of Master Tortuma. Anakin _certainly_ didn’t read philosophy in his spare time, so he doubted this was Anakin’s copy. He opened the cover and, sure enough, found the inscription he had read so many times before.

_‘To expand your ever-growing mind, Padawan.’_ Followed by Qui-Gon’s truly horrendous scrawl of a signature.

So Anakin had been to Obi-Wan’s quarters. Strange.

The two sat in silence for an hour, Anakin engrossed in whatever he was flipping through on his pad, while Obi-Wan tried to focus on Master Tortuma’s words. It was difficult, however, to dwell on the lifelong pursuit of peace when the energy of the room was so _heavy_.

He closed the book.

“Anakin.”

He looked up from the holopad, but didn’t respond.

“You’re frustrated with me.”

“Obviously.” Anakin scoffed darkly.

Obi-Wan swallowed. He knew it was true, but he expected at least _some_ sort of denial. “I understand you feel betrayed and--” He held up a hand, anticipating Anakin’s interruption. “Please allow me to speak for a moment. Then, we can return to ignoring each other in excruciating silence.”

Anakin glared, but kept his mouth closed.

“I understand you feel betrayed,” Obi-Wan repeated. “That you feel as if you should have been informed of the situation--or at least more of it than you...were.” He took a breath. “You are not a padawan anymore and you don’t owe me any forgiveness that you cannot reconcile in your mind as being justified. However,” he cleared his throat, pushing up in the bed and ignoring how _very much_ his head hurt, “as Jedi, we must establish a relationship that is cordial, at the very least.”

The younger Jedi just stared at him, completely unreadable. Obi-Wan wasn’t used to that.

“I do not expect you to pretend as if the events of the last month did not happen. I do, however, propose that we move on and go from there.” He was desperately trying to play his best cards of diplomacy, but he felt as removed from the Great Negotiator as he ever had before. “Not friends, but...Jedi. We should be in harmony with one another.”

He looked to Anakin again to gauge his reaction, but was again met with nothing. The Force whirred with the unbalance between them. 

“I can speak to Master Yoda about a reorganisation of our duties. The 212th and 501st are comfortable with each other, but it is not necessary they be paired as often as they are.” He spoke evenly, hoping the rationality of his words would give way and allow his heart to follow suit. “It could make things--easier.”

Anakin stared.

“Any thoughts would be appreciated.”

“Sounds like you’ve thought this through.” was what he got in response.

Obi-Wan frowned. He hadn’t thought it through _at all_. He was simply trying to do something, _anything_ , to ease the suffocating air that engrossed him every time Anakin was in his general facility. He couldn’t handle much more of this near _hatred_ from his former padawan, who he cared for more than anyone in this world.

Not having a relationship with him at _all_ would be better than _this._

“It’s not a matter of having--”

“Whatever you want, Master Kenobi.”

A _low blow_.

Obi-Wan dropped the politics. “I’m _trying_ , Anakin.” He sighed in frustrated exhaustion. “I don’t know what you want me to do. It happened, okay? _It happened_. But we can’t--I can’t---everytime I even glance at you, you act as if I specifically targeted you!”

“Didn’t you?” A challenge.

Obi-Wan’s face screwed up in disbelief. “ _No!_ It’s upsetting that after all these years, you think that I would---that I’d--”

“ _After all these years?_ ” Anakin hissed. “It _is_ upsetting, Master, that _after all these years_ , you couldn’t trust me with this!”

“It has nothing to do with trust, as I _told you before._ The council and I agreed that in order to--”

“In order to convince Dooku, I had to think you were dead, too.” Anakin finished, bitterly. “That’s _bullshit!!!!_ ”

Obi-Wan’s eyes darkened. “At the time, I thought you would understand that this was _necessary_.”

“Then you’re more of a fool than I thought.” Anakin spat. The words hung in the space between them, sucking the remaining life out of the room. Neither man could meet the gaze of the other.

The truth of it all was that if Obi-Wan could have foreseen Anakin reacting like _this_ , he _would_ have handled things differently. He probably wouldn’t have gone through with the mission at all. Because for all of Anakin’s bitterness about being excluded from the greater good, he was the greatest good Obi-Wan had in his life and, against his better judgement--and against the Jedi Code--, he’d do _anything_ to preserve that.

“What do you propose we do?” he asked.

“I attended your fucking _funeral_ , Obi-Wan.”

The malice of Anakin’s sudden outburst startled Obi-Wan.

“All we’ve done, _after all these years_ , is throw ourselves into stupid situations to save each other’s lives. And then you--” he breathed in bitter disbelief, “you _voluntarily_ broke that. I carried your _corpse to the Temple_ \--”

Obi-Wan hadn’t known that. He’d been a bit preoccupied with being...dead.

“I just...that was the line. The line that we _don’t_ cross. And you _did_.”

For the first time in all of this, instead of just feeling regret, Obi-Wan felt remorse.

“I never had a father and...and then my mother---” Anakin visibly steeled himself to refrain from shedding the tears Obi-Wan _knew_ he wanted to shed. “You’re _it_ , Obi-Wan. And you didn’t _tell me_.”

Obi-Wan watched his former student breathe heavily in the chair next to him and wanted to reach out, to lay a hand on his shoulder, to pull him in-- _something_ \--but the door opened and Vokara Che walked in.

“I thought I heard voices in here,” she smiled, carrying a tray of food. Completely unaware of the battleground she had just walked into. “How are you feeling, Obi-Wan?”

“Fine, thank you,” Obi-Wan pulled a smile of his own, not looking away from Anakin. He pushed at their bond in the Force, trying to convey the words he couldn’t say. Anakin’s gaze was locked back on his holopad. “I’m sure I have you to thank for that.”

“As much as I love your company, I loathe how often I find you in my halls, Master Kenobi.” She fixed him with a stern eye, setting the tray on the table beside his bed. 

He chuckled breathily. “Perhaps if you invited me for tea instead.”

“Who has time for tea these days, Obi-Wan?”

“I always find time for tea.”

Anakin’s chair scuffed on the floor as he rose from it. Master Che’s head snapped toward him. “Skywalker,” she offered a warm smile. “Would you like me to grab you a tray as well? The food over here is better than what they’ve got in the refectories tonight, but you didn’t hear it from me.”

Anakin smiled tightly. “I was just leaving, actually.”

“Yes, I imagine you have many things to catch up on with--”

“Good night,” Anakin nodded quickly, hurrying out the door. Obi-Wan frowned. That was rude, even for Anakin.

“I’m sorry, Vokara. Anakin’s been a bit distracted lately. I’m sure he didn’t mean to--”

Vokara waved him off. “No matter. I’m sure he’s just tired. The boy’s been in here for three days.”

Obi-Wan sat up straighter. “Did you say---Vokara. _Three days?_ ”

She offered a sympathetic gaze. “You took quite the tumble, Master Kenobi.”

“ _Three days?!_ ”

“You needed the rest.”

“But I--how could--”

She laid a light hand on his shoulder, pushing him back against the wall he had been leaned on before. “Don’t work yourself up. Your padawan took care of your reports.”

“He’s not my--”

“Wouldn’t leave your side, that boy.” She bustled across the room, opening the curtains of the small window. It was getting late but Coruscant was as busy as ever. “His campaign ended early, but if you ask me, _I_ think he sped things up as soon as he got word you were in here. The timing was all a bit suspicious, but hey--no one ever accused Skywalker of inefficiency. Quickest reinforcements run I’ve ever heard of, anyhow.”

Obi-Wan frowned at his plate of food. “How did he know?”

“Every youngling in the temple has been talking about it,” she chuckled. “It’s not every day that the great Master Kenobi blacks out in the courtyard.”

He sighed, remembering _that_ quite well. It had been a...difficult few weeks.

“If you don’t give your body some rest, it’s gonna start stealing it, Obi-Wan. And I can promise it will choose the most inconvenient of times.”

“I get my rest.” he insisted.

She looked at him dubiously. “I know as well as you do that _that’s_ not true. I told Skywalker to leave a couple days ago, as soon as your vitals evened out. But he insisted on staying--probably had the same suspicion that I did about you trying to make a break for it. _Again_.”

Obi-Wan knew this was his cue to banter back and argue that he hadn’t made a _break for it_ last time, as much as ended his stay _early_ , but he got caught on her words and remembered Anakin’s words from only a moment ago.

_Master Che told me to stay here._

“He...he chose to stay?”

“I told you, Obi-Wan. That boy’s like a magnet. Makes me laugh to see him just as stuck to you now as when he was a youngling.” And she did laugh, a light sound that didn’t sit right with Obi-Wan, who was trying to understand. “Eat your dinner and get some more rest. I’ll come back by in the morning and see if you’re ready to be cleared.”

“But he said--you said--”

“There’s no reasoning with him, Obi-Wan. Surely _you_ must know that. I tried everything short of getting the temple guards in here to drag him out, but I had a suspicion that wouldn’t deter his determination. He’s quite strong-willed. Said he wouldn’t leave until you woke up, no matter what I did. Pretty nervey, that kid.” She scoffed, but her face was soft. “I’ll admit that it did me some good to see someone take such an interest in your well-being, since I apparently can’t count on _you_ to do that.”

“Strong-willed,” Obi-Wan repeated, unable to respond in any other way.

“Wonder where he got that from,” Vokara mused, setting a fresh glass of water on the table.

…

Where Kenobi went, Skywalker followed. If you asked anyone within the Order, they’d be able to quote that as easily as the Code. It was just a fact, known to everyone except for, apparently, _Kenobi and Skywalker._

Vokara had heard the rumours; she knew things had been tense between the two Jedi since Obi-Wan’s deep cover escapades. But she also knew the unmatched devotion with which Anakin had sat in these halls day after day, working to make sure Obi-Wan’s life was as uninterrupted and unaffected as possible. 

When she returned to check on Obi-Wan in the morning, she wasn’t surprised to find that he wasn’t alone. 

**Author's Note:**

> you weren't the only one who heard "I am your wife!! I am the greatest good you are EVER gonna get!!!" in the middle of this fic. :)
> 
> thank you for reading/kudosing/commenting!!!
> 
> -Abi  
> tumblr: giggles-and-freckles


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